Harlotry

Ok, I don't often feel the need to explain myself, and maybe I still don't, I just like throwing something as...'odd' and 'shocking' as what runs through my mind out there for people to process. So today's topic kiddies is my whorishness.

I am not a whore, mind you, though I do have sluttish tendencies. I am simply...easily attracted to people and things. I have a great love for art, which to me is beauty and therefore whenever I see/hear someone/something that is beautiful I am quickly attracted. It is usually a mental/physical attraction that really means nothing more than admiration. I do not easily fall in love with people. I love easily, yes, but love and IN love are completely different things.

When I am IN love I am loyal to that one person. I will not run off and fall in love with someone else or have a fling but I will also not stop admiring the people and things I usually admire. I may gush about certain people's appearences quite often BUT I can bet you that I fell for their art before I fell for thier looks.

You want examples? Ok: Mika, I love him as you all know, most everything about him, but my first thought on his appearence was "Who is this freakish man-woman?" David Bowie, his appearence meant nothing to me. David Collins, I thought he looked...plain, and his hair annoyed me. Patrick Wolf, again, plain and boring. Adam Lambert wasn't even attractive to me at first. All of these people can kill me now BUT not necessarily that easily. My attraction to their appearence is still connected to their art. if I haven't watched them perform for a while them their appearence usually bores me though I do note that they are attractive and no longer freakish.

Now I do admit to judging people quickly on appearence. If I see someone attractive then I'm happy to point it out and look at them for long periods of time. But you must understand that it isn't necessarily the person I'm attracted to, it's their beauty and I have no interest in doing anything with them. Even if someone gorgeous who I was hyponotized by came up to me and offered the best sex ever, I would refuse.

Now I must say that I am not only attracted to people. Things, pieces of art, voices, the reflection of a bus in a building's windows, a bird flying across the sky, a word even! I find those things, and things like them, to be very attractive. This may seem weird, but to me it isn't. I am attracted to beauty and art. It's a slightly different attraction than that which pulls me toward people, but not much.

To tell you the thruth I can think of very few people I've been attracted to in 'that way.' *thinks* Yeah...maybe...7. In all my life. And I mean, not counting those little things like walking through the hall at school and being like "That person is sexy!" I'm talking about people I'm actually interested in dating (I don't like that word btw, I dunno why, but I don't). And I think there has been so few because I am such a loyal person. I find one person I like and it takes a hell of a lot to pull me away from them. Even if I don't actually have them, which is usually the case.

And you can see my loyalty in the artists I love. I've been with Mika for 3 years and will defend him to the end. The same goes for Patrick, and David Bowie. And authors like Roadl Dahl, artists like Sophie Blackall and Quentin Blake, actors like Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter. I've been following these people, some longer than others, but I am loyal to them and what they do. I'm not in love with them, maybe in love with their work, but not the person. And of course I would love to meet them, those that are still living anyway, but that's purely...let's say academic interest. I want to learn about them to see what makes them who they are.

So have I explained anything or have I just rambled on? I feel like I've rambled. But whatever I just did was meant to explain that I am attracted to people and things in two different ways and that one does not effect the other nor does it mean I am a whore, or any variation of the word.