Funny Deaths

I have to admit that sometimes I feel bad about laughing at death. It IS a horrible thing but sometimes, when people die, or get hurt...it's just funny. It's not the death itself that's funny but the circumstances surrounding it. And no one can seriously say that they didn't think someone deserved what they got at one point or another. Child molesters, rapists, mass murders? There must be SOMEONE you thought deserved to die. Even if only for a moment.

Well I was watching telly yesterday, some show about this horrible gang that's sweeping the nation. THAT is horrible. They're murdering like mad and that is horrible too..but, in the middle of these clips of dead bodied being cleaned off the streets there was a shot of a man with a meat thermometer in his stomach/chest. The fact that he had been killed, and the fact that he had been stabbed is awful. Far from funny. The fact that he had been stabbed with a thermometer...kinda funny...The fact that it was a meat thermometer, the kind you use on the grill when you wanna know if your burgers are done...that to me is hailrious!

I burst out laughing instantly. I had to get inside the murder's mind.
Had he found it in an alley and tucked it away in his pocket just incase he needed it later?

Had he stolen it from his mom's house because he was jealous of it and just happened to kill this man with it?

Was he a cannibal who didn't get to finish what he satrted?

Was he conducting a science experiment, trying to figure out how hot the sun in L.A. would make a dead body? That leads me to asking...was there another body with another thermometer in it hidden in the shade somewhere?

Had he went out and bought this thermometer for the sheer purpose of stabbing this man? Would a gangster really even BUY his weapon of choice? Wouldn't he just steal it?

I can picture it now, he walks calmly into a grovery store, face hidden, gun hidden. He finds the isle with the meat thermometers and he picks out the most impressive one, he's not going to waste time stealing crap. On his way to the door he pauses...the thermometer is still in it's package...the alarm will go off.

So he turns and walks down the snack aisle, slowly and quietly stripping the packaging away, then he hides it behind a box of Cheez-its and shoves the thermometer down his pants. The worng way. He fights a yelp of pain and readjusts it. When he looks to his left a little old woman is staring at him...she thinks he was fixing his junk. So she walks up to him and beats him with her purse, calling him a pervert. He grabs his gun but can't shoot her. She might be someone's grandma. He has a grandma. Whatatya know? A gangster with a heart.

So he apologizes to the woman and shuffles away from her, back toward the door. Passing a box of Twinkies, he can't resist. He checks behind him to see the old lady has now moved on. So he opens the box quietly and shoves some Twinkies down his pants. Now the alarm won't go off but he must be careful because it looks like he has a massive erection and he doesn't want to be arrested for that.

Finally he slips out of the store, undetected. Now to find dinner.

Insanely Amazing and Hypnotic Game Of The Week 15/4/2010

http://intihuatani.usc.edu/cloud/flowing/core.html
Between the beautiful graphics and hypnotic sound I just couldn't get enough of this. I love it.

Hoverers

One type of person that drives me absolutely mad is hoverers. You know the type. The people who appear out of no where as thought the morphed through the wall and slide up behind you then lean over your shoulder to see what you're doing. I hate that.

And it doesn't matter what I'm doing when they begin to hover, as long as they're there I feel as though I'm doing something wrong. Even if I'm reading a book, I end up feeling as though I'm reading wrong. Or as though I'm reading a smutty book. It could be the Bible, but if someone is hovering I suddenly feel guilty.

I get especially annoyed by the head-hoverers. I can deal with the shoudler-hoverers for a while but when someone comes up behind me and leans over my head I lose it. Have they never heard of my bubble? Do not invade my bubble without invitation or permission.

This gives me an amazing idea. You know those invisible fences people put around their yards to keep their dogs in the perimeter? I want one of those that's sensitive to people's DNA. I was to wear a little sensor on my hip and program in people's DNA that ARE allowed near me and when anyone else tries to get close it will send them a little shock and knock them back a bit. And maybe if I really don't like the person I'll throw one of those shoking dog collars at them just before they get close enough to me so that they get another shock when they yelp from surprise from the first one.

Genius, right?

I think I would call it the GAIDLY (Go Away I Don't Like You). It'd sell billions. I'd be rich! I could use the GAIDLY right now, as I'm typing this. The person across from me is taking up most of my foot space. That's not ok.

Of The Week 9/4/10

I'ma start doing _____ of the week to be sure I continusously update my blog. Even if it is something simple. It could be a video, picture, comic strip, quote, story, website, song, musical artist, drawing, thought, word. ANYTHING really. As long as it's made some sort of impact on me.

I think I'll start with the Surprisingly Good Performance Video Of The Week:



I was wonderfully surprised by this. I wasn't expecting anything goo to come from him. But he altered the arrangetment just enough and felt the song so much that i was blown away.
Good job sir.